I had many, many people say to us, "Oh! What a great idea! So you can make sure the kids don't have any issues, right?" Don't even get me started on how many people get caught up in issues and red flags. We were able to meet and spend time with the kids in our home for three weeks (twice). This is why the orphan hosting program was so helpful for our family. Let's just be realistic here, even if we had brought home a biological newborn baby at this point in his life, that was going to take some major adjusting too. Even though he had been asking for a brother or a sister since he could talk, and he was fully on-board with adoption, we knew that it was going to be a HUGE adjustment for him. Bringing another child into our family was going to rock his world. Now what? I give up! The best we could do was go for good chemistry and not worry about all the "rules".Īs much as we never planned it this way, the fact of the matter was that our son, Colby, had been an only child for more than nine years. They are also about two sizes smaller physically. Hmmm.Now let's just add a small twist to this birth order rule children who have been raised in instituationalized settings in Ukraine act two years less mature than their American counterparts. So, here is where this concept completely confuses me.what about the birth order of the kids we were hosting and hoping to adopt? In our particular situation, we had hosted Valeria, age 13, who had always been the oldest sister, and her 11 year brother, Vitalik, who had always been the youngest child. In the adoption world this is referred to as "virtual twinning", and it's a big no-no. Unless, of course, we adopted a child the same age. ![]() He was the oldest child, right? Or was he the youngest? He was both and neither he was an ONLY child. So, from the way I understand this, if we were going about this in the RIGHT way, our nine year old only child, Colby, should have remained the oldest child. Whose birth order does this apply to? It seems to me, this birth order business only applies to the biological child(ren). To be honest, I just don't get this whole adoption birth order thing.
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